Within this Box of Letters
by Stardust of Orion
Summary: Harry shares a box of letters with Hermione and Ron that reveals the truth about his relationship with Cedric. They all come to better understand love, grief, time, and moving forward with life. Current Harry/Ginny & Ron/Hermione; Past Harry/Cedric


**Disclaimer**: I do not own Harry Potter or the song, "Samson," but I do own this story in its entirety. I do not make any money from this fanfic.

**Title**: Within this Box of Letters

**Author**: Stardust of Orion

**Rating**: T

**Warnings**: past slash (that's male x male) relationship

**Pairing(s)/Ship(s)**: current Ron/Hermione & Harry/Ginny; past Harry/Cedric

**Summary**: Harry shares a box of letters with Hermione and Ron that reveals the truth about their fourth year in school and his relationship with Cedric. Along the way, they will all come to better understand love, grief, the passage of time, and moving forward with life.

**Author's Note**: This is the first story in my theme series _Sweetest Downfall_. Note, however, that this is a stand-alone piece and you will NOT have to read any other fics within this series. For more info about "theme series," and _Sweetest Downfall_ in particular, please check out my profile (about half-way down the page).

The song lyrics quoted for each scene comes from the song "Samson" by Regina Spektor. It's a really beautiful song and I definitely recommend listening to it before/during/after you read this story (whatever you prefer).

* * *

><p><strong>Within this Box of Letters<strong>

"_And the history books forgot about us_

_And the Bible didn't mention us …_

_Not even once"_

Harry let the old screen door slam behind him, too angry to worry if this would be the day it finally chose to fall off the hinges. The house was silent as he stormed upstairs to his desk in the tiny room overlooking the back garden; the rather dismal section of yard appearing forlorn without new vegetation, tilled and exposing the soil to the elements but not yet planted. He dumped the weighty tome he carried onto the sturdy desk and flopped down in his chair, patently ignoring the book in favor of staring at the chipping white paint of the windowsill with its weatherworn, cracked grey wood. Sighing heavily he swiveled the chair to gaze across their acreage.

Ginny and the kids were still out shopping with Molly and he supposed they would be gone for several hours yet, though what he _really_ wanted was a long cuddle with his wife or at least the distraction of several boisterous kids telling him about their trip. He wished he had never decided to read Rita Skeeter's 'biography' of himself. It was filled with misquotes, false rumors, and lies, leaving enough truth to seem real and plausible. Many people in the wizarding world would take it as fact.

"Just until Hermione finishes writing _her_ book about the real events," he reminded himself, trying to quell the anger that was still welling inside.

The sun finally broke through the overcast sky, dappling the leaves with light and sending their shadows dancing across his desk. His gaze fell to the first drawer, locked and rarely opened amid daily life, and he sighed. He hesitantly reached under the old desk and pulled out the key stashed in a tiny indentation underneath. Pausing, he stared at the brass key - magic thrumming gently beneath the metal and humming against his fingers - before hurriedly pushing it into the lock and opening the drawer. He drew out the papers within, taking a deep breath before using his fingernails to pull out the old photo stashed beneath the bound letters.

The two figures in the photograph laughed and the elder person picked up the younger in a bear hug, the better to snog before allowing the youth to slide back down far enough to have both feet firmly planted on the ground. Harry smiled wistfully at the couple, watching them for several long minutes before setting the picture down on the desk. Sunlight twirled across the picture and the pair looked up and smiled, closing their eyes and turning their faces toward the sun as if they could truly absorb its warmth.

Hermione would do her best, as always, and the book she was writing would tell the truest accounting of their lives that any could hope for, but even that would fail to tell the story of the happy couple in the photo; no one would remember _them_ or what they sacrificed. Harry shut his eyes against the sight before him, but he couldn't hide from the vision dancing behind his eyes nor did he want to any longer. Time had changed sorrow to a sweeter emotion, though his heart still hurt and always would. Maybe it was time to speak the truth to his best friends, his family, wizarding kind; …to _remember,_ he realized.

oOoOo

"_Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth_

_I have to go, I have to go"_

"Harry!" Hermione peered at the anxious looking wizard standing on her doorstep, tightly holding an old box in his white-knuckled hands. He shifted nervously and she smiled reassuringly, pulling the door wider and stepping aside to let him into the house. "I'm sorry, you just surprised me is all. I didn't expect to see you today."

He followed her into the sitting room, glancing around before raising an eyebrow. "Ron still at work?"

Hermione smiled fondly at the mention of her husband and unconsciously rubbed a hand across her belly as she sat on the sofa. "He'll be home shortly. Twenty minutes at most. He'll be glad to see you, but sorry to miss Ginny and the kids."

"They're shopping with their grandmum today." Harry caught the movement of her hands and smiled. "How are _you_ doing, Hermione?"

She laughed and gestured for him to sit next to her on the couch. She watched him shuffle unsurely before finally sitting down on the edge. "I'm fine – _we're_ fine. I've been looking at baby name books all afternoon. Sorry for the clutter."

"It's okay."

Harry shifted the small box he was holding on his lap, picking at the cardboard. Clearly he wasn't about to tell her what was going on, so she decided a different tactic was needed. _Might as well just come out and ask then._ "Is there anything wrong, Harry? Has something happened?"

He glanced swiftly up at her and, catching the look in her eyes, he smiled ruefully. "No. No. Everything's fine. I just – Well, I was rather upset earlier with Rita Skeeter's new book." At the mention of the awful journalist and her terrible book, Hermione crinkled her nose in disgust but waved at him to continue. He began playing with the container's lid again, unsure how to proceed with whatever he wanted to say. She had long experience with this habit and waited patiently for him to speak what was on his mind.

"The book got me thinking though and I realized that I wanted you to read these." He waved vaguely toward the box and Hermione nodded at him, eager for any research material she could get her hands on. "I know how important getting this book right is to you and…I thought this would help. I –" he stopped, carefully choosing his next words. She felt her curiosity growing in leaps and bounds as she watched him. "It's about our fourth year, Hermione. I wanted people to know what really happened…" He trailed off and continued to fiddle with the box before finally looking up at her.

"What really happened?" Hermione cocked her head in question. She had thought _they_ at least knew what actually occurred, but she supposed there were things even she and Ron never knew – perhaps something Dumbledore revealed or something from the time span in which Ron and Harry were fighting.

He handed the carton over to her and stood abruptly. "You'll understand at the end, 'Mione." He hesitated, as though he didn't want to mention anything else, but finally gave in to her befuddlement. "I'll try to answer any questions when you're done looking over things." Seeing the determined look on his face, Hermione nodded and started to stand, but he held out his hand to stop her. "Sit, sit. I can show myself out."

"But Ron will be here in only a few minutes!"

Harry shook his head. "I need to be getting back. Didn't leave a note and Ginny'd be worried if she came home and found me still gone."

"I think you could spare another couple minutes, Harry," she answered wryly, smiling coaxingly at him.

The wizard shook his head in a negative once more. "I'll see you later. Tell Ron 'hullo.' She nodded, sorry to see him leave in such a hurry, but eager to figure out this new mystery. "Oh, and Hermione?"

"Yes?"

"Ginny – Ginny knows most of what's in the box, so don't worry about _that_." Without saying anything else and patently refusing to look at her again, he strode from the room. Seconds later she heard the soft click of their front door. She frowned after him and chewed at her bottom lip, worrying about what was really troubling him and wondering about the last rather cryptic comment.

She finally tore her gaze from the doorway and pulled the lid from the box, surprised to find a small packet of folded papers bound with cord. Untying the string, she picked up the first of these sheets, feeling momentarily guilty for not putting them away for perusal tomorrow. Ron would be home any time now and would surely be getting hungry. Her curiosity won out and she unfolded the paper, realizing it was a short missive. Perhaps they were all letters then.

The paper itself had clearly been read and reread, as it was creased and wearing thin along the folds and since Harry'd said it pertained to their fourth year, it wasn't _that_ old or at least not old enough to show that kind of wear as a natural process of ageing. She'd have to be careful with the pages so as not to hurt them. She began reading the fading words, continuing to worry her bottom lip as she did so.

_Potter,_

_I didn't get a chance after the first task to thank you, so I wanted to now. I know, I know. You'll say it's not necessary, but I wanted to anyways. At least let me buy you a butterbeer or something during the next Hogsmeade weekend. I'll keep bothering you until you let me, so might as well get it over with. Let me know._

_Thanks again,_

_Cedric_

"Cedric?" Hermione's eyebrows drew together in thought. "Must be Cedric Diggory then," she mumbled to herself. A memory of his wide grin as he jumped down from an old tree, startling the entire group on their way to the Quidditch World Cup, flashed through her mind. She hadn't thought about that day in years. They'd almost lost Harry that night, during the Death Eater attack on the spectators. _That_ thought didn't fail to bring a tight feeling to her chest and, shivering, she gently folded the note, wondering what its import was to Harry. She supposed she remembered going into Hogsmeade with her boys as usual that year, but she couldn't recall seeing Cedric, let alone stopping for a drink with him.

She pulled the next letter from the stack and carefully unfolded it, noting that this too was well worn. She had just begun to read when she heard the front door open and close and Ron sauntered leisurely into the sitting room. She glanced up at him as he walked toward her.

"You doing okay today?"

"Of course," she smiled lovingly up at him, glad he was home. He gave her a peck on the lips, crinkling the letter beneath him, which caused her to return the kiss rather distractedly. He didn't take offense but instead headed toward the kitchen to grab something cold to drink from the icebox. She was reading again when she heard a laugh and, after finishing the last couple of sentences, she looked up and saw Ron leaning against the kitchen doorway, grinning as he watched her.

"Thought you said you were about done with all that research?"

"I was, but Harry thought I needed more, I guess."

"Harry? He was here today?"

The look on Ron's face made her falter slightly. "Um, he was just here, Ron, dropping off a box of old letters that he thought I should read. He needed to get back to the house because he forgot to leave a note for Ginny. He was really sorry to have missed you though." She knew that Ron had been worrying about his best mate and sister for a week now, since the two had been too busy the last few weeks to visit them or attend the weekly Weasley family lunch. It was particularly hard for him not to see Harry as often as they'd like.

Ron finally nodded thoughtfully, but the worry was gone from his eyes as he plopped down into the overstuffed chair and popped the lid on his butterbeer. Deciding he was truly all right, Hermione pulled a third letter out and set to reading it, noting that it was also from Cedric.

"So what're they about?"

"Hmm?"

"The letters – Hermione, pay attention," Ron laughed as she finally drug her eyes from the letter. "What are the letters about?"

"Oh, well he said they were from fourth year. The first few have been from Cedric Diggory."

"Diggory? What'd he want?" Ron couldn't keep the curiosity from his voice and Hermione secretly smiled. She'd win him over to 'research' and reading if it was the last thing she ever did.

"The first letter was thanking Harry after the first task."

Hermione watched Ron for a moment as he thought about it. "Must be a thanks for warning him about the dragons."

"I'd assume so. The other two letters were about having a good time talking and wanting to get together again sometime to get to know each other better. I frankly didn't realize Harry was away from us so much." That last thought threw Hermione for a loop. She hadn't been aware of the idea until she had voiced it. She stared at nothing in particular as she thought over the year, trying to remember when Harry and Cedric could have spent time together without them the wiser. She wondered why Harry hadn't told them about it.

"I suppose he was a trifle more distant that year, especially after – well, you know – the fight between you two and I guess I remember several times wondering where he had wandered off too."

Ron shook his head in silent agreement and she continued reading as he relaxed in the chair. Several minutes later and several letters later Hermione unfolded one and was rather startled to see a sloppier, hastier version of Cedric's penmanship strewn across the page.

_Harry,_

_I'm so sorry. Sorry for shocking you that is, but not for kissing you. I've come to care about you and everything is telling me you like me too. I'm sorry if it was too forward; too quick to judge that you had the same feelings for me, though you seemed to enjoy it before you fled. Please Harry, meet me in the owlery at midnight. We really need to talk._

_Cedric_

A tiny little 'oh' escaped from Hermione's lips as she blinked at the letter in surprise, quickly rereading to make sure she had read it correctly in the first place. "Ron! Did you know Harry and Cedric _snogged_?" She supposed she sounded slightly accusing, which she didn't mean to be, but she was so startled by the revelation that she didn't bother to modulate her tone.

She looked up at her husband, expecting an answer or a scowl at her tone, but he was frozen in place. The rich brown butterbeer bottle was almost to his lips and he wasn't even blinking. "W-What?" he finally managed to splutter, the sound echoing hollowly across the opening of the bottle. Hermione winced. She guessed she should have thought more carefully about what his reaction to such news might be, especially since it _was_ his best mate who was, in point of fact, also married to his _sister_.

Hermione straightened her shoulders and gave him a stern look. "Honestly Ron, it isn't a big deal to snog another bloke or a girl to snog another girl." He turned an incredulous gaze at her and stammered something about not caring 'bout that'."

"Besides, that was long before he became serious with Ginny," she continued.

"I _know_ that!" he replied indignantly, his face reddening. "I'm just shocked is all. Why didn't he tell us? 'Sides, he said _Cho_ was his first kiss and that was in _fifth_ year, wasn't it?"

Hermione watched him carefully. He sounded slightly hysterical, but seemed to calm as the news slowly sank in. It really was a lot to take in, especially since Harry had never shown any inclination toward another male, so far as she could tell anyways. That wasn't even considering the shock when she realized that she and Ron hadn't even had an inkling about it apparently.

"I think he said she was the first girl he'd kissed. We must have missed the emphasis on '_girl_.'" She said it matter-of-factly, albeit somewhat wryly, but the statement nevertheless caused Ron to snort and she looked at him askance. He seemed completely composed now, however, though perhaps a little hurt that Harry hadn't shared this information with them earlier. She felt the same way.

Hermione sighed, "Maybe we should go back and read these together. I have a feeling this is something we should both know about _before_ this book is written and out in the public." She was only vaguely surprised when Ron readily agreed, so long as she was the one reading aloud to him.

oOoOo

"_Told me I was beautiful"_

"Let's get something to eat before we start reading." Ron held out his hand for her and she took a few seconds to hastily reshuffle the letters she'd already read back into their original order. She carefully settled them back into the box before reaching for her husband's hand so he could pull her up.

"We could just make sandwiches to nibble on while we read," she said hopefully, wanting to get back to the letters as quickly as possible. Ron readily agreed and they headed toward the kitchen. She pulled the necessary items from the fridge and he grabbed extra drinks and took them to the living room. It didn't take long to quickly assemble several sandwiches and they carried their plates back toward the sofa, each settling on an end-cushion facing one another with the box between them.

Hermione took a few bites before setting her plate aside and slowly picking up the first letter. She drew a deep breath and began to read aloud. After several letters, she drew the fateful one from the stack and looked at Ron who was waiting expectantly, a curious expression on his face. He nodded for her to continue and she read the letter revealing that Cedric snogged Harry, glancing up when she was finished and noting the return of his wide-eyed appearance.

"They really did snog," he mumbled, just audibly enough for her to hear.

"Did you think I was _imagining_ it?" she laughed nervously, which changed into genuine giggles at the look he gave her. He gave her a wide grin and waved his hand at her.

"Go on then, keep reading."

She pulled out a new letter – one that neither of them had read – and felt a flutter of curiosity and trepidation at what the rest of the letters would reveal. _Could they all be from Cedric?_ The question tugging at her brain sent a wave of sadness washing over her.

The next several letters indeed proved to be from Cedric, revealing a developing friendship and romantic relationship between the two boys, which she certainly would never have suspected in a million years…though she _could_ imagine Harry sneaking around after lights out and even skiving off classes. She frowned as she finished reading the latest letter – Cedric asking if skipping a class right before an exam had really made that much difference in Harry's score – and startled as Ron crowed in triumph.

"I _knew_ he had purposely skived off that class – a 'wand accident while practicing charms' my arse! Bloody tosser left me alone with Mad-Eye staring at me with his magic eye, trying to prove I was _lying_ about Harry being sick!" Ron continued to grumble about being vindicated now, though he kept breaking into a devious grin as he no doubt planned ways to get back at his best mate.

Hermione shook her head at his antics, and unfolded the next paper, slowly smoothing out the creases and half-laughing, half-snorting at the peculiar little drawing of a tumbling kneazle kitten and a feisty looking imp yanking on its ears. Beneath the short page was another page - another letter lazily scrawled across the parchment.

"Hush up, Ron," she laughed and handed him the drawing, watching him grin when he looked at the paper. She felt herself blush when he looked back up at her and gave her an adoring smile, which only served to make her blush harder. She cleared her throat and tried to ignore him. "There's a letter that goes with it." He nodded at her to continue and took another huge bite from a sandwich, reaching at the same time for his drink. She smiled warmly at him before beginning.

_Harry,_

_I really wish I could have orchestrated you receiving this note just as you were drinking pumpkin juice while we ate breakfast. What a feat that would be: getting you to bring butterbeer through __your nose yesterday when I first told you this story about the kneazle and imp _and then_ pumpkin juice _today_ when you saw the picture. _

_Next, I would tell you how you have such a wonderful laugh – a stunning smile – and feel smug with myself as your cheeks turned pink. Perhaps then I'd snog you and listen to your pleasured mumble. Then, of course, I'd snog you some more._

_But alas, such things are not to be since I couldn't get that dratted owl this morning to let me tie the drawing to its leg. The school owls are really bothersome sometimes. _

_Guess I'll have to be content imagining the scene. _

_Perhaps you should watch out: the next time we sneak out for breakfast together at the lake, well, let's just say you might get that extra-long snogging. (Merely to make up for missing _this_ chance, mind you.)_

_ Cedric_

Ron spluttered as she read the letter, actually choking on his drink. Hermione patted him on the back and delicately wiped up the liquid that had sprayed in tiny droplets when he coughed. He hastily set down the butterbeer bottle, giving it such a look – as if he thought it was a traitor – and pushed it away from him, picking up a soda instead.

"What's the matter, Ronniekins?" she asked, channeling Ginny and the twins' wicked tones as she leered at him. He gave several more small coughs, which he tried unsuccessfully to smother, and shot a venom-less glare at her.

"Didn't expect to hear _that_ while I was innocently trying to drink my _own_ butterbeer, 's all."

oOoOo

"_Beneath the stars came fallin' on our heads_

_But they're just old light, they're just old light"_

_Harry,_

_I have a surprise for you. I know we can't go to the Yule Ball together, but I was hoping you'd agree to meet me in the second corridor from the Great Hall at 9:58 precisely. Don't Be Late!_

_ Cedric_

Ron groaned at the mention of the Yule Ball - a still rather sore subject between the two of them, though time had mellowed the feelings and taken away the sting. "That was such a disaster."

Hermione grimaced along with her husband. "Well, if you'd plucked up the courage –"

He sighed in mock exaggeration, his tone playful. "Leave off, 'Mione. You can't use that excuse forever."

She blinked in surprise and confusion. "What do you mean 'excuse'?" The pitch of her voice rose indignantly on the word 'excuse,' and she waited expectantly for an answer, tapping her toes impatiently against the floor, though he answered her quickly enough.

"You could have asked _me_, you know." She gave him an incredulous look. "'M just saying, you _could_ have," he mumbled.

Hermione burst out laughing and shook her head at him. "I'm not sure what I'm going to do with you!" Ron opened his mouth to say something dirty but she vaulted toward him, stifling the comment with a kiss and half-crushing the box beneath her belly, the size of which she was still not used to. She squeaked and pulled away, quickly checking the letters for damage. Ron rolled his eyes heavenward and gave her a teasing, fond smile.

Clearing her throat and giving her lover a stern look, she pulled the next letter from the box, though as soon as she opened it her heart fluttered in disquiet. The look on her face must have caught his attention because he immediately sobered, folding his arms across his chest as he waited patiently for her to continue.

_Harry,_

"_The magic swirls around us_

_And we're_

_Dancing on the waters –_

_Floating amongst the stars –_

_Reflecting mirror of my heart_

_In a place that exists_

_Outside of time_

_Where love greets eternity_

_And you stay forever_

_In my arms"_

_It's a beautiful song, isn't it? I heard it a couple weeks ago and I thought of you. Then I stumbled into that concealed balcony and realized we'd hear the music from the dance. I knew I had to dance with you. I'm so glad I got to share this song and this dance with you. _

_The song echoes the way I feel about you. Never forget that._

_Love,_

_ Cedric_

"Oh, Ron, that's so lovely." Tears pricked at Hermione's eyes and she tried desperately to remember the song. She wished she had a melody to add to the words, but she supposed she'd be able to find that out easily enough with a little research. The words held such a bittersweet edge; heart-rending and beautiful, now that she knew how the story would play out.

"Harry was anxious – distracted – all night," the redhead said quietly, contemplatively. Hermione tilted her head in questioning and he obliged by explaining. "The night of the Yule Ball, I mean. He kept looking at the clock. I had forgotten that. Then he rushed off and you and I had that fight. I never did ask him why he disappeared like that or where he went off to."

Hermione felt the pang of old hurts once more; of old worries at the mention of their fight. She reread the letter still clutched in her hand – wounds finally healing completely when she realized she could still gaze on _her_ beloved; could laugh at their youthful foolishness.

oOoOo

"_Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth"_

The next letters were far more light-hearted once more - filled with sweet memories, shared jokes, and the usual complaints about professors and classes, though worry over the steadily looming second task could be read between every line. Hermione pulled another note from the pile and began reading, wondering what - if anything - would be said about that event.

_Harry,_

_Your letter made me laugh. (Don't grouse about that.) Sorry about Myrtle though. Should have warned you, since she did the same thing to me._

_ Cedric_

Unbidden, an image of Harry and herself on a bridge at Hogwarts popped into her head. She had scolded him for lying about already figuring out the clue in the gold egg and then…Cedric. The Hufflepuff had shown up, calling out to Harry as he hurried toward the two of them. Harry had scurried away from her – at the time she thought he was merely still annoyed at her, but now she wasn't so sure – and she had left them to talk, albeit reluctantly. She had looked back towards them as she walked away…Cedric was bent forward, whispering in Harry's ear.

Hermione shook her head, irritated with herself for merely walking away; for not questioning _anything_ that year because she had been so consumed with worry over Ron and what he thought of her. When she glanced up at her spouse, he was giving her a lop-sided grin as though he could read her mind; discern her self-degradizing thoughts. She wondered, idly, if he sometimes felt the same way.

Ron picked up the next letter and gently unfolded it, holding it out to her in an offer to soothe her with other things. She put frustration with her fourth-year-self behind her, determining to examine her feelings later. She wasn't like Harry who always blamed himself for everything that went wrong. Still, at times like this, she couldn't help but wonder _if only she had been a better friend – paid more attention to Harry, rather than her own petty desires and worries – if things would have turned out differently somehow_. Perhaps it was just ego talking; she couldn't know _everything_, no matter how much she wished to sometimes. She laid the previous note down and took the new letter from Ron, hoping to dispel the last of her doldrums and focus on what was really important.

_Harry,_

_Found that concealment spell. I've already tried it on your letters to me. Works great – I now have a stack of letters from you about Quidditch. Meet me in the Astronomy Tower tonight and I'll teach you. (Have Double Potions next, so can't write more if I'm going to make it to the dungeons on time.)_

_Love you,_

_ Cedric_

Hermijone tapped her finger against her lip, lost in thought. She had been speculating about what had happened to Harry's letters to Cedric, questioning if Cedric simply hadn't been as sentimental as Harry or perhaps that the Diggory's had discovered the letters but kept silent out of respect. Now she wondered idly if Harry's letters still existed somewhere in another form, hidden from prying eyes and hiding deeper truths – a truer reality –; concealing and sheltering what now no longer needed protecting.

oOoOo

"_And he told me that I'd done alright_

_And kissed me 'til the morning light…_

_And he kissed me 'til the morning light"_

Shaking her head, Hermione snatched up the next letter, catching a flutter of something as it drifted down onto her lap. She had almost missed the tiny, fragile-looking note and, with a great deal of curiosity, she picked it up. "This one's just a little scrap of paper." The writing was smudged with water-stains, which was odd in itself, but it had clearly been crumpled into a wad at some point before it was carefully smoothed out once more.

_ Har,_

_So worried. You took too long coming up. Not mad, but owlery, midnight._

_ Ced_

Hermione looked up at Ron and he shrugged his shoulders at her, as much at a loss as she was. She stared at the paper for a long time, Ron silently watching her think. _'Come up' where? Was he late meeting Cedric somewhere?_ Finally she gave up and moved on to the next letter, earning a small smirk from the redhead, which made her huff in exaggerated annoyance. She'd figure it out eventually.

_Harry,_

_I know we really shouldn't because my roommates are getting extremely suspicious of me periodically sneaking away, but I can't seem to get enough of you; of _us_. Letters are hardly substitutes for having you in my arms. I'd be quite happy, I think, to kiss you forever. You'll laugh at the sappiness, I'm sure. _

_Last night was brilliant, by the way. I'd gladly get only a couple hours sleep every night if _that_ were the reward. _

_Tomorrow morning's break I'll be in the hidden corner of the library. Learned a better silencing spell for the occasion. Just thought you should know._

_Love,_

_Cedric_

Hermione found herself blushing slightly at the possible implications woven into the letter. Across from her, Ron snorted and looked up at her, outright laughing when he saw the pink staining her cheeks. Why he was always so observant when she felt flustered, she'd never know.

"Oh, honestly! There's no reason to be embarrassed." She fanned herself trying, unsuccessfully she decided, to pass her blush off as feeling overheated by the fireplace. The thought flitted through her brain that Ron might think she was – ahem – aroused by the thought and she quickly stilled her hands, mortification making her cheeks burn even hotter. She quickly buried her face in the letter and continued her speech. "It's not like we're in elementary school."

"Ementry school?"

"Elementary school," she corrected, noting the confused look on his face. "Oh never mind. It's a muggle thing. The point is we're not children." She sniffed in mock disdain at Ron's disbelieving look. "I was just surprised, Ronald. There's nothing to be ashamed about. It doesn't matter if they – if they…shagged all night…or in the school library. I mean –"

Hermione finally shut her mouth, realizing she was beginning to babble and only making the situation worse. Really, she didn't want to think about Harry shagging anyone, so best just to drop the subject. She'd never hear the end of it, otherwise. Ron, however, sensing her discomfort, wriggled his eyebrows at her and gave her a 'come hither' look. "Ronald Weasley! Stop that!" she scolded.

"'M not sure what you're on about, 'Mione," Ron quipped, feigning innocence as he got up and casually headed out of the room. "Want some fruit?"

Hermoine followed him into their kitchen intending to chide him some more and was startled as Ron caught her up in his arms when she came through the doorway. She squeaked as he whirled her 'round until she was pressed up against the counter. She gasped and would have went right on scolding him, but his lips descended to hers in a tantalizing and needy fashion. They stayed like that for quite some time.

It wasn't until Ron started trailing kisses down to her stomach that she was able to regain her senses and gently remind him of their project. He huffed, but nodded rather quickly. He was clearly curious what they would read next, which she was grateful for, though the need to know was tainted with a feeling of desperation. She didn't think she could bring herself to read all of these letters without him by her side. The lovers kissed a few more times before finally pulling away from each other and heading back to the living room where they settled in once more to read.

oOoOo

"_Oh, we couldn't bring the columns down_

_Yeah, we couldn't destroy a single one"_

Time past seemed to speed forward as they read letter after letter – their fourth year whirling away before their eyes. Hermione desperately wished to slow time – stop the clock – and not have to face what was already long past; what was already over and done – immutable and unchangeable. Ron shifted nervously at the other end of the couch, but stayed where he was, too unwilling to put off finishing their set task.

The next note was just four words:

_Are you all right?_

Hermione frowned down at the piece of parchment, wondering what had happened to Harry that had caused the question. She scanned the note again, certain it was Cedric's writing, but had no idea what the words meant. Beside her, Ron was frowning as well, deep in thought, lost somewhere in their fourth year.

Letter after letter remained happy – content and excited – though Hermione noticed the darker threads running through each missive. They were striking to her, but at the time, they probably were no more than a side-note to the lovers; a blip on their radar. Nightmares and visions wove their way across each line and Hermione found herself in sort of a trance, reading each letter until she finally reached for one and realized there were only a handful left.

She snatched her hand from the pile, as though it were a coiled snake, and felt everything shift – time speeding and narrowing, pressing claustrophobically as it raced inevitably forward, drawing to an apocalyptic close. '_Are you all right?'_ echoed mockingly in her brain and she wanted to scream that nothing was all right; would never be all right again, at least not for _them_.

oOoOo

"_You are my sweetest downfall_

_I loved you first, I loved you first"_

Hermione stood in the bathroom, staring at her reflection in the huge mirror over the sink. She had all but fled from the room when she realized how few letters were left. Ron would begin to worry about her soon she knew, but she didn't want to face the end of the letters. Harry and Cedric had deeply loved each other, this much she now understood, and Harry had watched his lover die. She felt deep pain and sorrow for Harry – and Cedric – but the end of those letters also represented other things to her.

She and Ron had come so close to losing one another on numerous occasions, all because of Voldemort. Realizing that Harry had lost Cedric, well that just brought it even nearer to home and to her heart; to full comprehension of how close she came to losing her own lover. And someday, one of them would pass on and the thought was too terrible to even think of, but here she was in their bathroom thinking of just that.

She shuddered and ran a cool washcloth over her face, trying to calm her nerves. Harry had survived and he was all right now. She and Ron would be all right too, if someday they ever lost the other. Somehow they would continue, but for now she needed to think only about what she still had. There was no reason to borrow trouble for the future and no reason to dwell overlong on the past and let it effect the joy she had with her own lover.

She wanted to know however, – needed to know – the rest of Harry and Cedric's story, not only for herself and her book, but for _Harry _and_ Cedric_. They deserved to have her undivided attention; deserved to have her care. Harry needed to know that she could be there for him, even though she couldn't be there when he needed her most – now that she knew; now that she understood. It's all she could do now, for all of them.

Taking a deep calming breath, she left her haven and walked back into the living room. The fire was crackling warmly and Ron sat staring into the flames, a sad expression in his eyes. Perhaps he understood as well.

"You know, I keep thinking of Harry screaming and clinging to Cedric's body when they were port-keyed back. I didn't know… I just didn't understand what was truly happening. I wish he would have let us in, if not before, than at least – at least in his grief."

Hermione shut her eyes for a moment, still standing in the middle of the living room, before she finally crossed over to the sofa and gently kissed his forehead. "I know, Ron." They sat in silence for a time until she gained enough courage to unfold the next brittle page.

_Harry,_

_I know, I'm excited too! I agree that after this we can tell everyone we're a couple; that we're in _love_. I say we announce it immediately after the winner of the Tournament is announced. We've held off because we didn't want questions raised concerning our competing, but after it's over, I really don't care. Let them think what they want; I just want to be with you. _

_You've been worried (though eager too) about telling Ron and Hermione, but I don't think you need to worry. I've watched the three of you; it'll be fine. I guess I can understand if you want to tell them in private before we tell the rest of the school._

_A few more hours and it will all be over, love! I wish you all the luck in the world. I know you'll be okay. _

_Don't think I won't try and beat you at the third task though!_

_Much, much love,_

_Cedric_

Voice trembling, Hermione read the last of the letter, barely able to finish, feeling for all the world like she was going to break. "They were so eager to have the Tournament done; to begin their lives together," she whispered. It all seemed too cruel; some terrible trick. Ron stayed silent and continued staring into the fire. When his gaze finally flicked over, he stared at the remaining letters in the box.

"What can possibly be left after that?" he whispered.

oOoOo

"_You are my sweetest downfall_

_I loved you first"_

_Dearest Cedric,_

_The Muggles say it is good to let yourself mourn; to allow your heart and soul to travel through the 'stages of grief.' They suggest keeping a journal or writing a letter to the one you lost to tell them what you are feeling and all that you wanted to say but never had a chance to. I've tried over and over to write to you, but nothing ever comes out right. I always end up shredding the paper and scattering it across the floor, just like my soul feels like it's torn in pieces at your feet. _

_I should never have left that graveyard. I know you would frown at me for thinking that, but I can't help how I feel. I should have fallen by your side and never moved. _

_I'm so alone now. Even Ron and Hermione aren't talking to me. I only received one letter from both of them at the beginning of the summer. I can't help but think they blame me for everything, like I blame myself every day and every night, every hour and every minute. _

_Cedric, I was so stupid. I could barely tell everyone what happened – choking grief beyond anything I've known – but I should have shouted to the world that I loved you and that you _saved_ me. That you were more than just a 'brave and loyal friend.' _

_And now I can't figure out how to go on. There is only nightmares and memories; pain and sorrow and death. There is nothing anymore. I don't even think obliviating myself would give me peace._

_You know, sometimes I think I hate you. You left me all alone with only utter anguish. But then I remember how hard you fought for me – you refused to leave me; you shielded me as best you could – how you died for me. I remember your kisses; the way you held me against you. I __remember the life we spoke of the night before the third task. I remember _you_._

_And the worst, I know you'll forgive me for all of these things. _

_I wish I could tell you again how much I love you. I guess it's never _enough_, is it?_

_Harry_

Hermione cried for Harry, for Cedric, for everything and everyone that was lost because of Voldemort. She looked up and saw tears wetting Ron's face, glistening in the firelight. She gently cupped his face, rubbing her thumb across the tears – made all the more precious since Ron so rarely showed her this kind of emotion.

"'Mione," he whispered, sorrow cracking his voice and she crawled into his lap, seeking comfort; giving comfort. He cradled her against his body, the occasional pop from the logs the only sound in the silence. They spent the night there, cuddled on the sofa and occasionally kissing, silently thanking fate that they still had each other and the new little life inside her, growing stronger every day.

oOoOo

"_Your hair was long when we first met"_

Harry stood at his desk, looking at his wall – shelves filled with photos interspersed with books – and smiled gently as he ran a dust cloth over another picture frame. The gold frame caught the light and dazzled brightly as he set it back down. He slowly picked up the last frame from his desk – a new edition for his shelves – and watched it for a moment before setting it down on its new spot amongst the other pictures.

He was still looking at the photos when Ginny appeared in the doorway. She walked into the small office, glancing at the pictures as she came up next to him. Her eyes caught the new photo and she watched it for a moment, a sad little smile gracing her face as she watched the other couple smile at one another. Harry saw her nod of acceptance before she turned back to him.

"The kids wanted to stay with Mum and Dad tonight, so I sent them off," she said quietly. "I came to see if you wanted to take a walk with me."

"Always."

The house grew silent and still after their departure, the only real movement that of the pictures. Lily and James twirled around each other in one photo and, with the other Marauders, laughed uproariously about a prank they'd played. The trio laughed in several photographs, while Sirius beamed at a young Harry as the boy swooped down on his new Quidditch broom and Hedwig circled lazily behind him. In two tiny frames, Dobby waved brilliantly colored socks through the air around his large ears and Hagrid threw weasels to his reunited 'friend,' Buckbeak, as Fang lazed by his feet.

The Weasley's grinned out from several frames and a huge puff of orange smoke burst forth and coiled around George, Fred, and Harry in another photo of the twins' new shop. Harry and Ginny, Hermione and Ron, each danced on their wedding days. Ginny grew large with child in still another photo while little kids raced each other around the Burrow, earning a scold from a flour-dusted Mrs. Weasley. In the newest photograph added to the shelves, Cedric whirled Harry around and pulled him into a bear hug, picking him up far enough to soundly kiss him before allowing the younger wizard to slide back down to the ground. A wall – full of memories, smiles, and love.

Light spilled into the room and played across the photos as voices poured through the wide-open window. Outside, a light breeze rustled the leaves, dappling the yard with fairy lights. Ginny started giggling and took off running through the grass, red hair streaming behind her, and Harry ran after her, laughing heartily as he grabbed her around the waist and tumbled them to the leaf-strewn ground. He carded his fingers through her long hair and she shrieked in laughter as he rained kisses across her face. The branches creaked above them, rocking gently in the wind and revealing new blue sky and a bird soaring high above.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note<strong>: Wow, that turned out longer than I expected and, somewhere along the way, my focus changed from what happened in the third task of the Triwizard Tournament to only hinting at what 'actually' occurred. Instead I focused on the relationship between Harry and Cedric as a whole and how that relationship was effecting Harry's current reality and Ron and Hermione's relationship and beliefs. Still, the theme of a 'sweetest downfall' is woven throughout, albeit in a more subtle version then I had originally intended.

If you have any questions about this story or theme or have any comments, you can send me a message or review. I'm always happy to hear what you have to say.

As a side note, I have played with the idea of a companion piece or prequel piece, but am not sure if I will or not. If this sounds particularly interesting to you, let me know.

Oh, and the 'song' from the dance that Cedric quotes is not a real song - at least not anywhere but in my imagination.

* * *

><p><em>Copyright 2011 by Stardust of Orion<em>


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